Happiness is ...........?

My life has been so clear in the past. A lover's past. I gotta keep telling myself this is what I wanted. You made the decision to do this. Stay positive. It's only been a rough couple of days. Much worse happens to others. I found that out today. This blog is a great thing to have. I can talk and think out things before anyone has time to criticize. Keeps me confident that I am doing what is best for ME. I have been content with my life up until recently. I envy those people who have a path, know what they want. I read a blog today about the metaphor of being a Padowan and learning, growing into a Jedi. Sounds stupid, but it hit really close to my heart. I owe thanks to the person who wrote that blog. It made me realize that my problems are so petty and complaining about them is ridiculous. I am a Padowan on the path to becoming a Jedi. At least I am on the path now. There is hope. Music gives me hope. Taking all my frustrations out on the coated batter skin head of a drum. Petty problems don't mean as much. Almost crying while playing the bridge of a very meaningful song. That fuzzy feeling you get when all the pieces fit together for once in your life. My goals are to get back into a band, practice a lot more, and start singing. What is there to be afraid of anymore? You have gotten to the low, now just let go and you will be free. My brother said something to me that meant a lot. He said, "If it hurts, then it was worth having it." I need to grow in positive ways from what I have learned over the past year and six months. "Life hurts and you cry, and then you die" I want to break out of my shell! I will break out of my shell! I am the only one holding myself back. My life is pretty good.